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Annoying Orange – Kriss Kut (transcript)

Juni 30, 2015

(the episode begins with 2 waffle fries wearing rapper clothes and breakdancing in the kitchen counter)
Pear: I just don’t get it. Why are those 2 Kriss Kut fries wearing clothes backwards?
Grapefruit: I know! They think I dressed them in dark, it looks so dumb!
Orange: Hey hey hey, what’s up, guys?
Pear: Why is your shirt on backwards?
Orange: It is? Whoops, I think I got dressed in the dark. (laughs) Hey, look, backwards brothering! Hey, hey Fry Guys! Hey, Fry Guys! Hey!
Kriss Kut: What do you want, yo?
Orange: We’re twins! (laughs)
Kut Kriss: Actually, we’re twins.
Orange: No, no no no no. I mean we’re twins because we all got dressed in the dark this morning. Get it?
Kriss Kut: You mean getting dressed in the dark, yo.
Orange: Wait. Your clothes are on backwards? On purpose?
Kut Kriss: Totally. We’re meant to do this, yo.
Kriss Kut: Back off, yo.
Orange: Whoa, what a couple of yo-yos! (laughs)
Kriss Kut and Kut Kriss: (growls)
(title card)

Kriss Kut: This kitchen is the perfect place to write Kriss Kut’s next hit album, yo!
Kut Kriss: Work, yo! Let’s get started! (plays hip-hop music)
Kriss Kut: Yeaaah, I’m feeling that P, yo. Wait, hold up, yo. That loser aren’t just standing in my creative zone!
Orange: Oy!
Kriss Kut: Huh? What’s he say, yo?
Kut Kriss: I don’t know, yo.
Orange: Oy!
Kut Kriss: That doesn’t make any sense, yo.
Kriss Kut: (growls) This is totally destructing my creative process! These aren’t just straight up wiggity-wiggity-wag, yo!
Orange: (wearing a red wig with pigtails) What did you say about my wig? (laughs)
Kriss Kut: Get lost, yo.
Orange: Hey! Give me my wiggity-wiggity back! (laughs)
Kriss Kut: (groans)
Kut Kriss: Come on, focus up, bro! We gotta write some fresh new lyrics! How about this: Kriss Kut will make you dunk, dunk!
Kriss Kut: Yeah, that’s sooo wiggity, yo.
Orange: Totally wiggity! Great work, guys! (laughs)
Kut Kriss: Yo, why are you still here?
Orange: Oy!
Kriss Kut: Why do you keep saying that, yo?
Orange: Because it’s “yo” backwards! Oy! (laughs)
Kriss Kut: Oh, I get it, yo.
Kut Kriss: Me too, yo.
Kriss Kut: “Oy” is “yo” backwards! I never thought of it that way before, yo.
Kut Kriss: We might have underestimated this orange, he’s really backwards, yo– oy?
Kriss Kut: Right! Oy!
Kut Kriss: Totally oy, yo! Do you wanna be in our rap album?
Orange: (gasps) I’ve been waiting to hear those words my entire life! (laughs)
Kut Kriss: What’s your name, yo?
Orange: Orange. Like the fruit. (laughs)
Kriss Kut: No, I mean your MC name, yo. If you gotta be on Kriss Kut’s album you gotta have a cool MC name, like: I’m MC Kriss Kut. This is my twin brother MC Kut Kriss.
Orange: MC Kut Kriss? Can I be MC Butt Kiss? (laughs)
Kriss Kut: MC Butt Kiss? (silence) I love it!
Kut Kriss: Yeah, could you kiss me your front, and your butt’s on your rear! That front-back dieconomy is what Kriss Kut’s next album is all about, yo!
Orange: Speaking of the album, we should get back to work! (laughs)
Kriss Kut: I love this guy! Haha! Let’s get to work!
Orange: Alright, show me what you guys got so far.
Kriss Kut: No sweat.
Kut Kriss: Kriss Kut will make you dunk, dunk!
Kriss Kut: Kriss Kut will make you dunk, dunk!
Kut Kriss: Kriss Kut will make you dunk, dunk!
Kriss Kut: Kriss Kut will make you dunk, dunk! Yeaaah. What do you think?
Orange: Ungh… that’s all you have?
Kriss Kut: That’s pretty much the whole song, yo.
Kut Kriss: Yeah, we would just gonna say that like, 50 times and, call it a day.
Orange: Well, it’s just… I don’t get it. Kriss Kut will make you dunk? What are you gonna make me dunk?
Kut Kriss: Everything, yo. Kriss Kut will make you dunk basketballs into hoops.
Kriss Kut: Kriss Kut will make you dunk your friends in a pool.
Kut Kriss: Kriss Kut will make you dunk…
Orange: French fries into ketchup?
Kut Kriss: Yeah, I guess it could work too. It’s a little weird and ommunist, but, sho.
Orange: Hmph. Yeah, I don’t get it.
Kriss Kut: Well then, if you don’t get it, maybe you should be on the album after all.
Orange: What? No-ho-ho-ho! Being on a rap album has been my life dream since like, 30 seconds ago! (laughs uneasily)
Kut Kriss: Yo, I knew this guy wasn’t wiggity.
Kriss Kut: Hear that? You’re off the album, MC Butt Kiss. Now leave us alone!
Orange: And what if I don’t wanna leave?
Kut Kriss: Then Kriss Kut will make you…
Orange: Dunk, dunk?
Kriss Kut: Oh, haha. You remember the lyrics to our song.
Kut Kriss: Kriss Kut will make you leave! That’s what we’re saying.
Orange: No! Dunk, dunk!
(Daneboe grabs Kriss and Kut and eats them into death)
Kriss Kut: He eats me, yo!
Kut Kriss: He eats me too, yo!
Kriss Kut: This is so wiggity-wiggity-wag, yo!
Kut Kriss: We’re supposed to write a song about this!
Kriss Kut: Wiggity, yo! (both scream and die)
Orange: Whoa. I guess that’s a wrap on that album, huh? (laughs uneasily)
Grapefruit: Whoa man, it’s a wrap! I just put this outfit together!
Pear: (groans) Great. I missed out on another short-lived fat: story of my life.

– Orange
– Pear
– Grapefruit
– Kriss Kut
– Kut Kriss


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