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Annoying Orange – Grandpa Lemon (transcript)

Juli 8, 2015

In this episode, Orange met Grandpa Lemon, an elderly lemon who is very hard to annoy because of his tendency to fall asleep.

Orange: (rapping) Ain’t no party like a kitchen party because a kitchen party never stops! (laughs)
Grandpa Lemon: Whoa? Wh-where am I?
Orange: Hey! How’s it going?
Grandpa Lemon: Oh, hey there, little fella. What’s your name?
Orange: I’m an orange.
Grandpa Lemon: Well, it’s nice to meet you, Boris.
Orange: No. Orange.
Grandpa Lemon: Oh, George.
Orange: No! Orange!
Grandpa Lemon: Oh, Orange. Aw, sorry about that. My hearing just ain’t what it used to be.
Orange: I’ll say.
Grandpa Lemon: You can call me Grandpa Lemon.
Orange: OK. Hey, Grandpa Lemon!
Grandpa Lemon: Who– who said that?
Orange: I did. Hey, hey Grandpa Lemon!
Grandpa Lemon: Hey there, little fella. What’s your name?
Orange: I told you, it’s Orange.
Grandpa Lemon: Whatever you say, George.
Orange: Hey, hey Grandpa Lemon!
Grandpa Lemon: What’s that, Boris?
Orange: Why you such a sourpuss? (laughs)
Grandpa Lemon: (snores)
Orange: Hey, Grandpa Lemon? Grandpa Lemon? GRANDPA LEMON!
Grandpa Lemon: Whoa, a-what? Who are you?
Orange: I told you a few million times already, I’m an orange.
Grandpa Lemon: What are you doing in my house?
Orange: (groans) Hey, hey Grandpa Lemon!
Grandpa Lemon: What?
Orange: Chicken butt. (laughs)
Grandpa Lemon: Chicken hut? Where’s that?
Orange: No. Chicken butt.
Grandpa Lemon: Check my butt?
Orange: No. Chicken BUTT!
Grandpa Lemon: You don’t say. You know I didn’t know that that’s what the kids are doing these days.
Orange: What? No, it’s a joke.
Grandpa Lemon: A joke? I’ve got one for you. Why did the porcupine cross the road?
Orange: Why?
Grandpa Lemon: (snores)
Orange: Oh, for crying out loud. Hey! HEY!
Grandpa Lemon: Huh? What?
Orange: So why did the porcupine cross the road?
Grandpa Lemon: I don’t know, why?
Orange: No, I’m asking you.
Grandpa Lemon: Me what?
Orange: About the joke.
Grandpa Lemon: A joke? I’ve got one for you. So there’s this porcupine, right? And he’s– (wet fart) Whoops.
Orange: Gross! That was disgusting!
Grandpa Lemon: I think there’s a barking spider right here. Hahaha.
Fruit Spider: What? Screw you, guys! You’re always blaming me for everything! I’m outta here!
Orange: Whoa, that guy really puts the ranted tarantula. (laughs)
Grandpa Lemon: Hey Boris, did I ever tell you about the time I opened for Hootie and the Blowfish?
Orange: Hootie and the what now?
Grandpa Lemon: Old Hootie, he was taking the world by a storm with his sexy mid-tempo folk rock. But there was something missing. You know what that was?
Orange: Knife?
Grandpa Lemon: No. A one man band talking lemonhead like me.
Orange: No! Knife!
Grandpa Lemon: (gets sliced) Ouch!
Orange: Ouch! That looks like it hurts. You OK, Grandpa Lemon?
Grandpa Lemon: (snores, now in half)
Orange: What the–? How does someone fall asleep while getting cut in half?

— Ending —
Grandpa Lemon: Oh.
Orange: (laughs) Hey Grandpa Lemon, you’re a real pain in the glass. (laughs)
Grandpa Lemon: Oh, hey there, little fella. What’s your name?
Orange: (groans)
Grandpa Lemon: (farts)
Orange: Gross! That was disgusting, Grandpa Lemon!
Fruit Spider: OK, that one was me. (eats fruit fly)

Cast:
– Orange
– Grandpa Lemon
– Fruit Spider

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