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Annoying Orange – Rump Roast (transcript)

September 13, 2015

Midget Apple: Alright, alright, alright! Let’s play some monopoly!
Pear: Wish Orange would hurry up and get here. Wonder what the hold up is?
Rump Roast: Hey hey, guys! I’m new to town. My name is Rump Roast.
Pear: Uh-oh…
Midget Apple: Oh no, Orange is really gonna have fun with this guy.
Pear: Dude, you should really get out of here before our buddy Orange shows up.
Rump Roast: Why? I’d love to meet him. Oh, we’re playing monopoly? Oh, I love monopoly.
(Orange babbling from afar)
Midget Apple: There’s no time! Leave, you fool! Ohhh, no!
Orange: Hey, guys! Sorry I’m late. I had to boardwalk it. (laughs)
Rump Roast: Hey, friend! Nice to meet ya. I’m Rump Roast!
Orange: (gasps in awe)
Rump Roast: Is something wrong, friend?
Midget Apple: I think the hilarity of your name might have just frightened his brain. So, you guys mind if I roll first? (rolls dice)
(title card)
Orange: (stifled giggles)
Rump Roast: Oh, what the hey? I’m gonna buy your hotel.
Orange: (giggles)
Midget Apple: Orange, you with us now?
Orange: (laughs)
Pear: Hey buddy, how you’re feeling?
Orange: (laughs boisterously) RUMP ROAST!
Rump Roast: Yep. That’s my name!
Orange: And it’s a name I can really get BEHIND! (laughs) Sorry. It was just really nice to MEAT you! (laughs) Butt puns.
Rump Roast: Yeah, I, uh, can see why you guys wanted me to leave.
Midget Apple: Well, it’s too late now! We’re 30 minutes into the game!
Orange: Yeah, don’t leave. That would really BUMP me out! (laughs)
Rump Roast: You know, making fun of someone’s name isn’t very polite.
Orange: Yeah. Nobody likes being the butt of a joke.
Rump Roast: Thank you, I apprec–
Orange: (laughs) Butt, butt, butt, butt…
Rump Roast: Hey!
Orange: …butt, butt, butt, butt…
Pear: Orange! Knock it off!
Orange: …butt, butt, butt, butt…
Rump Roast: Stop saying butt!
Orange: OK. I’m finished now.
Rump Roast: Good!
Orange: Yep. I finally got the TAIL-end! (laughs)
Rump Roast: (growls)
Pear: Orange! You’re being rude!
Orange: Rude? Uh-uh. Just a little CHEEKY. (laughs)
Rump Roast: Hey, you know what? You should try getting some manners!
Orange: Good idea! I’ll TWERK on it. (laughs)
Rump Roast: (growls)
Midget Apple: Hey! Just shut up and play the game!
Orange: Oooh, monopoly? I wanna play monopoly. I get to be the car!
Rump Roast: You can’t have the car. I’m the car!
Orange: Well, that explains all the junk in the trunk! (laughs)
Rump Roast: (growls)
Orange: Fine. Then I’ll just be the BOOTY! (laughs while holding a mini boot and hiding it again)
Pear: Orange, if you’re gonna play with us, you’re gonna have to stop making fun of his name!
Orange: (groans) OK.
Pear: You’re sure you can keep a lid on the jokes.
Orange: I’m not certain. But I’ve got a HAUNCH! (laughs) OK OK, that was the last one, I promise.
Pear: Yeah. I believe it when I see it.
Midget Apple: Whoa! Snippity-snap! Now I’ve got Boardwalk and Park Place! Anything to say about it, Orange?
Orange: (remains shut)
Rump Roast: See, this is nice. (Daneboe walks into the kitchen with a knife on his hand) Pear, your turn.
Pear: Michigan Avenue. Heh, I bet the puns are already piling up on your brain, aren’t they?
Rump Roast: Heh, too bad. Hahaha! My turn.
Orange: Hm. OK. I need to say something.
Pear: You can’t dude. That’s the deal. No butting in.
Rump Roast: And watch your phrasing!
Orange: Oh, come on!
Pear: If you wanna play, you can’t talk!
Rump Roast: Uh-oh, looks like I’m almost out of money! I’m in danger of falling–
Orange: BEHIND!
Rump Roast: We gave you a chance, but you couldn’t take it. Har, har, har! My name has rump in it. We get it, Orange! We get it!
Orange: NO! BEHIND!!!
Rump Roast: Huh? (screams. He got knifed)
Orange: Whoa!
Pear: Ohohoho!
Rump Roast: Right in my eye! Oh, the pain!
Orange: BUM-PER, dude. (laughs uneasily)
(Rump Roast dies)
Midget Apple: Awww, I’ll miss him. He was a nice guy.
Orange: Yeah. He was grade A.
Pear: So… should we finish the game?
Midget Apple: Yes. It’d be nice to actually finish the game of monopoly for once. Instead of just waiting for someone to flip the board over in anger. Besides, for once I’m actually winning.
Grapefruit: Oh, you guys are playing monopoly. Without telling me?! You jerks.
Midget Apple: (deep groans) Thanks a lot, butthead!
Orange: (laughs) Butt. (laughs, wet farts)

Cast:
– Orange
– Pear
– Midget Apple
– Rump Roast
– Grapefruit

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