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Annoying Orange – The Fruitrix

September 18, 2016

Spoof on the 1999 American-Australian sci-fi action film The Matrix.
I don’t own AO.

Orange: (singing) 99 bottles of bored on the wall, 99 bottles of bored~ Take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of bored on the wall~
Pear: Stop! Now, we know we get it, you’re bored, OK.
Orange: Yeah. But don’t you ever wonder why we’re always bored?
Pear: Hm. Nope. Why’d you ask?
Orange: There’s gotta be a reason we’re bored all the time. (telephone rings) Hm.
(telephone rings again)
Pear: Somebody wanna grab that?
Orange: One RING-shot coming up! (spits a seed at the phone. The phone opens, revealing a spoon dressed up like Morpheus)
Morpheus Spoon: Hello, Orange.
Orange: Hey, look, it’s Knife! What happened to you, Knife? Are you bald now? Or did you lose your EDGE? (laughs)
Pear: That’s not a knife, Orange. It’s a spoon.
Morpheus Spoon: Or perhaps there is no spoon. (stretches out)
Orange and Pear: (scream)

(title card)

Morpheus Spoon: My apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you.
Orange: Wow! Bald Knife is a magician. Hey, hey! Pull up a rabbit out of your head, Bald Knife!
Morpheus Spoon: You’ve been living in a dream kitchen, Orange. It is called the Fruitrix. All that you see around here is not real.
Orange: Even Pear?
Morpheus Spoon: Even Pear.
Pear: Don’t listen to him, Orange. I’ve always been your best fr– (screams, fades, then turns into a knife wearing black glasses)
Black Glasses Knife: Mr. Orange.
Orange: Whoa!
Morpheus Spoon: Quick, Orange. You must choose a pill.
Pills: Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!
Morpheus Spoon: Take the red pill and you will escape certain death and be transported into the kitchen of the real world. Take the blue pill and you can stay here at the Fruitrix and be sliced in half by Knife.
Orange: Huh? What about the green pill?
Green Pill: (blows a raspberry) I taste like boogers.
Orange: Ugh! Red pill it is!
(Morpheus Spoon throws the red pill at Orange’s mouth and Black Glasses Knife attempts to slice him, and he is transported into a dirty kitchen)
Black Glasses Knife: He’ll be back.
Black Glasses Knife #2: How can you be so sure?
Black Glasses Knife: He is… the Annoying One.
Black Glasses Knife #2: Yep, you’re right.

At the dirty kitchen…

Morpheus Spoon: Welcome, Orange, to the real kitchen.
Orange: It’s real, alright. Real dirty! (laughs)
Morpheus Spoon: True. The real kitchen could use some spick and span, but at least we’re safe from the Fruitrix, and their master, the–
Orange: Hey! This place has cable! Sweet!
Morpheus Spoon: Yes, but we only get one channel.
Orange: (groans) I hope it’s not C-SPAN.
Morpheus Spoon: Behold. The world as it really is. (shows a display of fruits being juiced by a giant anthropomorphic juicer) You see, the machines who built the Fruitrix need you and your kind to fuel it.
Orange: Well, I am pretty gassy. (farts, laughs, then stops) Wait a minute. But that means my friends are… are…
Juicer (on TV): Hey, hey! Who wants mango shots?
Orange: Noooo!
Morpheus Spoon: Don’t lose hope now, Orange. There’s still something we can do. Although, I don’t think you’ll like it.
Orange: What? What can we do?
Morpheus Spoon: Plug.
Orange: Huh? (a cable is being plugged on his head) Whoa!
Morpheus Spoon: A massive download of information directly into your cerebral cortex. Everything you’ll need to fight the knives and destroy the Fruitrix… forever.
Orange: Whoa! I know. Every knock-knock joke ever!
Morpheus Spoon: Ugh.

Back at the Fruitrix…

Black Glasses Knife: I sense a great disturbance in the Fruitrix.
Juicer: He ain’t no man! All fruit is but fuel for the machines, yeah!
Orange: (now wearing black glasses) Oh, yeah? Well then get ready for a MEGABITE! (laughs)
Black Glasses Knife: Mr. Orange. Any last words?
Orange: Oh. Probably just… knock-knock!
Black Glasses Knife: Who is there?
Orange: The Annoying One.

Orange starts a fight with Black Glasses Knife, spitting some seeds, and easily defeats him with a slam.

Orange: Yay! I did it! I destroyed the Fruitrix!
Juicer: Obliterate the Annoying One, and then… more mango shots!
Orange: Oh, no.
Black Glasses Knives: You may have destroyed one of us, but you’ll never defeat ten thousand.
Orange: Whoa-oh. Looks like I’m gonna need a bigger boat. Or better yet… a motorboat! (motorboats with power, destroying the knives, Juicer, and Blender. He laughs in victory)

At the real kitchen…

Pear: Orange! You did it! You saved us all!
Orange: Yeah. And I thought it’d be VIRTUALLY impossible. (laughs)
Pear: (groans)
Midget Apple: Finally, we’re free!
Morpheus Spoon: Yes. Yes, you are. But tell me, what will you do now with your freedom?
Orange: Hm. Good question. I was thinking… (singing) 99 bottles of bored on the wall, 99 bottles of bored~
Morpheus Spoon: Truly he is, the Annoying One.

– Dane Boedigheimer as Orange, Pear, and Midget Apple
– Iman Crosson as Morpheus Spoon
– Robert “Bobjenz” Jennings as Black Glasses Knives, Pills, and Juicer


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